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A Sunny Place for Shady People

Pithy, contrarian, politically incorrect and curmudgeonly rants on sex, money, power and politics and religion and philosophy. In short: Nothing matters, everything changes and there are no guarantees. The rest is rationalization and bribery. (c) Tom Milner 2002-2003. DIRECTORY of offensive POSTS at Archives: 07/09/03. RECOMMENDED BLOGS: Archives: 07/29/03. email: theoldbuzzard AT sunnyplaceforshadypeople DOT com.

Saturday, October 12, 2002

Monday, October 14, 2002

We suspect the day will come when the only people who will answer telemarketers and pollsters' telephone questions will be those utterly lonely and depraved for conversation, or those whose egos need stroking while under the delusion that their opinion "counts."

We are so weary of telemarketers and spammers that we have no patience left for the occasional "legitimate" pollster who isn't selling us something -- just taking our opinions and making profit on them.

We simply don't accept calls in this scatter from these types. We even keep a high octave police whistle by each telephone (fortunately, never yet used) if we need some day to split the eardrums of the overly aggressive and persistent.

To ring our telephone is as much an intrusion on our privacy as knocking on our door: uninvited, unwanted, unwashed "visitors" disturbing our meals and our sex.

When asked by a pollster for an opinion or to take a survey, we insist on payment in advance of $500 minimum per hour or fraction thereof (about the hourly rate of a low rent lawyer).

We aren't bothered as much anymore.


Copyright Tom Milner 2002

Thursday, October 10, 2002

Friday, October 11, 2002

How many lovers have parted, how many marriages dissolved, how many schoolboys taunted, how many careers floundered, how many psychiatrists enriched, how many men driven to suicide -- all for the want of an ample appendage, the penis?

Oh, we are assured. Size doesn't matter.

Size matters.


You bet!

Pump it up with vacuums, stretchers, drugs?

Forget it!

We're not indulging ourselves with exact measurements here, but a less than adequate baton has ruined many a good man.

Straight or gay. Doesn't matter.

Can anything be done, we ask and are asked.


You can more easily change the color of your eyes than you can the dimensions of your member. We are not talking enormity, just underendowment.

So, live with it.

Or have the grace to die tastefully with some modicum of elan.


Wednesday, October 09, 2002

Thursday, October 10, 2002

We have tried to avoid commentary on the upcoming war with Iraq, since that is all the draft dodgers in the White House want to talk about during this election season.

War whoops are preferable so to mask the current economic disaster which is beginning to rival that of the Great Depression. If we just concentrate hard enough on globally combatting "evil," then perhaps we won't notice our stock losses, emptied pension accounts, our unemployed and underemployed, our lack of health insurance, a declining confidence in Social Security (which the Republicans want to risk in the stock market!) our deteriorating environment, etc.

This War will cost billions in dollars and thousands in lives. It will alienate the few countries left who show any pretense of support for the U.S.

Mr. President: why don't you just Drop the Damned Bomb and get your kicks assuaged?

A nuclear disaster will still leave enough oil to steal.

It would cost less in the short term, but the consequences ....

Nuke 'em, Cowboy!


Tuesday, October 08, 2002

Wednesday, October 09, 2002

"I have been half in love with easeful Death...." -- Keats

"The thought of suicide is a great source of comfort: with it a calm passage is to be made across many a bad night." -- Nietzche

We have often thought more in terms of suicide affirmation rather than suicide prevention -- especially for the terminally infirm and the extremely unhappy.

Suicide has many blissful Keatsian attractions, but let's concentrate on alleviating -- eliminating -- one major problem potentially tragic in our lives: ending our days in a nursing home.

Can anyone argue cogently that suicide is not preferable to the many cruelties inflicted in these cesspools of abandonment and isolation?

We've visited. We've seen our friends in the agonies of hell. We're repelled by the rampant insanity of the loudly intrusive inmates of such places, as well as the neglect, filth, indifference of the (admittedly underpaid) staff, lack of privacy, and rules and regulations fit for a kindergarten.

We doubt that there are even a dozen of these so called nursing homes in the country that provide adequate and caring attention at an affordable price.

Spare yourself. Spare your family this Final Indignity.

Do go quietly into that good night ....


Monday, October 07, 2002

Tuesday, October 08, 2002

"America can learn three things from France: reverence for the past, taste, and intellectual honesty." -- Diane Johnson, paraphrasing Edith Wharton

We journey every year, usually in the spring, to Paris -- not just for the magnificent blooming of the horse chestnut trees in the Luxembourg Gardens or the swell horse races at Longchamp -- but to engage a veneration of the past, so richly embodied in the art and architecture as to be almost palpable. As William Faulkner has famously noted, the past is not even past. This is doubly, triply true in Paris.

We also indulge a refinement and expansion of what little taste we already have: in food, music, scent, conversation, film, nightlife -- the list is endlessly futile to even attempt to catalog.

We read the newspapers -- not just the "Herald Tribune" -- and enjoy the diversity of fresh views (to us). We marvel at the diversity of "world views." Our minds are engaged every moment we are in Paris.

Intellectual honesty, for all its high-sounding high-mindedness, is where you find it, whether in a Left Bank tabac or in a Champs-Elysses atelier.

The whole Paris "thing" just makes us slightly better as human beings.


Sunday, October 06, 2002

Monday, October 07, 2002

Neither the right or the left -- or the center -- want to hear this, but it must be boldly voiced: Genetics is the Great Determinant.

Not God. Not Nurture. Not Environmental "Factors."

This science-based assertion makes most people uncomfortable, just as Darwinism and evolution agitate the blissfully ignorant into frothing tirades, leading to the teaching of "creationism" on the one hand and to the positing of "equality" for everybody on the other.

Mindless right wingers and gullible left wingers alike (the right clings to stupidity and the left to naivete) will mumble, stew, sputter and stammer that nobody has any control over his genes and, by extension, his "station" in the social hierarchy. (Destiny is another matter for another rant another day.)

Let's just shelve our fairy tales about this nonsense called "equality."

So: Is life basically meaningless, without "redemption," and is no one equal to any one else in any way?

Well, yes.

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