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A Sunny Place for Shady People

Pithy, contrarian, politically incorrect and curmudgeonly rants on sex, money, power and politics and religion and philosophy. In short: Nothing matters, everything changes and there are no guarantees. The rest is rationalization and bribery. (c) Tom Milner 2002-2003. DIRECTORY of offensive POSTS at Archives: 07/09/03. RECOMMENDED BLOGS: Archives: 07/29/03. email: theoldbuzzard AT sunnyplaceforshadypeople DOT com.

Saturday, November 09, 2002

Monday, November 11, 2002

Is there any more demoralized and corrupt agency of state government than the ubiquitous Department of Motor Vehicles?

Yes: the dreaded DMV.

And many prefer the pleasures of the dental chair, inhaling enthusiastically (of course) the exhilarating nitrous oxide, to a queue among the oozing unwashed at the local DMV.

So many ill-bred and ill-behaved and criminally reckless drivers are commanding the streets that we must conclude these louts purchased, under the table, their driving permits.

Bribery is always preferable to an objective test of ability and eyesight.

We have lost count of the number of states that suffer and abet these abuses in their DMV's.

And it's not just minorities helping their paying brethren either. This canker cuts across all class, race, age, gender and social lines.

If you ever wondered how that excreta next to you got his driving license, now you know: he bought it.

No one can stop this thievery, any more than you can impede the Falls of Niagara.

It's just one of those ugly, generally untaught, facts of life.

So, if you want a feloniously lucrative career in state government, bribe a functionary and get a DMV clerk's job.


(c) Tom Milner 2002

Email: theoldbuzzard@sunnyplaceforshadypeople.com

Thursday, November 07, 2002

Friday, November 08, 2002

Perhaps the homeless paupers, who often rave (and yes, rant) and shamelessly wheedle money from strangers, should be given drug vouchers.

This beggarly tribe, often resorting to violent crimes in pursuit of transient pleasure, has enough stress to contend with -- the street rage, comradely thuggery, the search for bed and board -- that society should minimally provide some anesthetic for their daily pain.

It's terribly inconvenient to be poor.

These destitute need some somatic relief, preferably a sedative that will suppress the felonious rampancy that often accompanies stimulating drugs like cocaine.

The homeless need drugs far more than the religious pap they are often forced to swallow first to secure even an indecent meal in some mission.

Religion needs to leave the poor in peace (not to speak of the rest of us), unless they will just provide food and shelter without extorting some fantasy of "salvation" out of them.

Equip the indigent with harmless hallucinogens and analgesics and we'll all sleep better at night.


Email: theoldbuzzard@sunnyplaceforshadypeople.com

Tuesday, November 05, 2002

Wednesday, November 06, 2002

Most Americans tend to self-identify as middle class, which suggests a safe and cozy "average" income and taste.

But most seem unaware of a well defined, albeit unpublicized, class system in the U.S., every bit as strict (and exacting) as fabled England's.

The only aspirants who think they want membership in the middle class are those of the lower class. (We could explain minimally six class strata in the country, but we'll skim the traditional three.)

Must almost everyone be ambitiously perceived as middle class: to seek solace, succor and comfort in its conformity and bad taste?

Why would any thinking person want to go there?

The middle class, loosely enough, is a nest of stifling conventionalism, given to celebrating resemblance, submission, consent and routine.

And bad taste.

There pleasure is measured ever so carefully and moderation is excessively worshipped.

It's boring.

The upper and lower classes -- which have much more in common with each other than either with the middle -- know how to have fun.

Next time you're interrogated by the social police as to your class, answer proudly and boldly that you're a member in good standing of either the upper or the lower class, and that you wouldn't be caught dead (you would use a cliche, wouldn't you) in the despicable middle class.

In shedding that bad taste of yours: a necessary first step.


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