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A Sunny Place for Shady People

Pithy, contrarian, politically incorrect and curmudgeonly rants on sex, money, power and politics and religion and philosophy. In short: Nothing matters, everything changes and there are no guarantees. The rest is rationalization and bribery. (c) Tom Milner 2002-2003. DIRECTORY of offensive POSTS at Archives: 07/09/03. RECOMMENDED BLOGS: Archives: 07/29/03. email: theoldbuzzard AT sunnyplaceforshadypeople DOT com.


Saturday, February 15, 2003
 
Monday, February 17, 2003


Let's dissect one of the most sinister organizations in the country --- the American Automobile Association (AAA).

Yes, that outfit that delivers a can of gas to the stranded or hands you a highlighted map and a tour book.

Sounds benign.

This enterprise vilely exploits its image as a friendly, consumer-driven purveyor of highway information and safety in order to undermine or destroy environmental protections.

Washington (and the biggest corporations) sleep cunningly with it for its political clout, with its millions in annual members' dues (and profit-making income from insurance, travel and related services).

"Drivers clutching this [AAA] card as a national talisman against automotive calamity should know that, in doing so, they lend support to an agenda in the form of road building, against pollution control and even auto safety measures that help deepen [that] automotive calamity afflicting the nation as a whole." (Ken Silverstein, "Smitten with a Club," Harper's Magazine, May 2002.)

AAA is aggressively hostile toward the environment.

For example, they opposed new rules that required cleaner exhaust systems, and resisted requiring states to reduce smog levels.

This saintly conglomerate has even fought mandatory air bags!

Of course, as a AAA member you're not supposed to know (or care) about these shenanigans.

Their lobbying is a closely held secret. It will not surface in their slick monthly magazine.

Clarence Ditlow, of the Nader Center, has suggested that even "AAA's dogged opposition to gas tax increases has nothing to do with saving its members money. Maybe it's just because higher gas prices [would] mean fewer cars on the road. Maybe it's just business."

The AAA is a truly classic exemplar of the wolf in sheep's clothing.

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The rant now appears on Mondays and Thursdays.

theoldbuzzard@sunnyplaceforshadypeople.com







Wednesday, February 12, 2003
 
Thursday, February 13, 2003


And a Happy Valentine's Day to you, too.

We take the occasion to enthusiastically embrace private, rank nakedness.

We're mighty comfortable sleeping, eating, walking, swimming and making sex without raiment's restraint.

Sure, we enjoy proper clothing in the ordered world of civility -- even formal attire.

But here at the scatter formality is rare, clothing even rarer.

At home we're permanently basically bare.

It feels good and offends no one.

Oh, we'll don shorts and an old shirt to answer the almost never rung (thankfully) doorbell, or to fetch the morning papers, or to grab curbside mail.

But inside and on the walled grounds, we stride, if not proudly, at least boldly stark butt naked. (The climate is usually very forgiving.)

We don't frequent nudist bivouacs, beaches, or bathhouses.

We just luxuriate in the freedom of deshabille.

You would think all this exposition should logically lead to some shrewdly philosophical conclusions about stripping.

We offer none -- save the muted exhilaration of knowing that being naked is not only natural, but the best disguise.

We could mouth some bromidic homilies about it, or quote Congreve and declare "no mask like open truth to cover lies." (Or our less than monumental endowments.)

But the plain truth: we just enjoy the freedom.

And any freedom in today's treacherous times in the U.S.A. is indeed rare.

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A VALENTINE GIFT FOR VALUED READERS

In keeping with a recent promise to rant on excrement (with self-confidence), we are indebted to the brilliant Bob Schroeck in this fertile field, and we joyously recommend his excellent website for his complete and exhaustive excremental compendium of "The Ideology and Religion Shit List."

Space permits only a few fetid fragrances.

Baptist Fundamentalism: Shit happens because the Bible says so.
Blondism: I'm stupid as shit.
Capitalism: Shit happens, and it'll cost you!
Christian Fundamentalism: The belief that Hell is where everyone must mind his own shit.
Euphemismism: Caca happens.
Evangelicalism: God has a wonderful plan for your shit.
Feminism: Men are shit.
Hedonism: Fuck that shit; let's party!
Jehovah's Witnesses: Let me in your house and I'll tell you why shit happens.
Marines: It's not just shit, it's an adventure.
Momism: You'll eat this shit and like it!
Mormonism: Your shit is shit, but our shit is the ONE TRUE shit.
Nihilism: Everything is shit.
Patriotism: My shit, right or wrong.
Politically Correctism: Nutritionally Corrected Output happens.
Reaganism, Nancy: Just say, "Shit Happens."
Republicanism: We earned our shit.
Surrealism: Shit is shiny and shaped like a Buick.
Yuppieism: It's my shit! All mine!

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The rant now appears on Mondays and Thursdays.

theoldbuzzard@sunnyplaceforshadypeople.com








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